Sword and Shield
by HotaruGFC
Summary: Asta coming to terms after someone important to him is injured.


Asta sat in the middle of a field scared by magical practice. His grimoire lay open next to him as did his swords. He had told the rest of his squad he was going out to practice, and practice had indeed been his intention when he set out.

But now he was here and practice was the furthest thing from his mind.

He tried to focus on his goal to give him the drive to practice and to drive the other thoughts from his mind.

But with every attempt, he found his mind plagued by memories of recent events.

He stood, picked up his sword, the smaller one, and held it in a single handed grip. He swung the blade several times, but his heart wasn't in the effort. He fell to his knees as the memories rose up once more-or rather what he could remember of the situation. What he remembered most was the feelings of helplessness as Noelle was struck. The blast she took could have been enough to kill her, but she had reacted at the last second, shielding herself as best she could. Still she had taken the brunt of the blast.

He had tried to get to her, to apply his anti-magic to the blast and nullify it, but he was too slow, and too late.

Now she was in recovery, with healing mages from the nearby town, because no one in the squad was skilled enough in healing magic. Asta had thought it awesome how offensively oriented the squad was but now he recognized the drawbacks.

He swung the sword once more, trying to recall what happened after the blast. All he could remember was the rage. They said he had acted, that he had fought like a man possessed. They said he had single handedly taken down the foe they had faced, lack of magic be damned.

But he could not recall any of it.

All he could remember was Noelle falling and then blackness.

The next thing he could recall was the smell of her, the feel of her in his arms and the sense of urgency. The fear of losing her.

He swung the sword again.

The healers had reassured him she would be fine. Finral stayed with her, keeping vigil over her recovery. Asta wanted to stay. He felt he should but the longer he stood there, the more anxious he felt and the more he needed to escape.

He swung the sword again and tried to shake the thought of her from his mind.

"I am going to be the Wizard King." He swung the sword again. "I am going to show them all." The blade bit into a tree. "I am going to save everyone." More pieces of tree flew into the air. "I am going to go back for Sister Lily." His face was pelted with more slivers of tree. "I am going to be happy." The tree cracked and fell to the ground with a large thump. Asta lowered his sword, barely breathing heavy with the exertion. He closed his eyes as he let the sword's tip drag against the ground.

"Sister." He tried to call to mind his childhood love and caretaker. Her face flashed through his thoughts for just a moment before it was supplanted by violet eyes and silver hair. He felt his heart skip a beat as a rush of emotion struck him. He yelled and threw his sword at another tree, where it impaled itself into the trunk. He crouched to the ground, placing his elbows on his knees and his hands on his head.

"It's all my fault." he muttered to himself as Noelle's face in his memories shifted from her normal state to the look of shock as the blast knocked her flat, to the serene mask of unconsciousness she wore as he carried her back to safety. She had felt so light in his arms, so fragile and delicate, regardless of her indomitable spirit. Her skin had been so soft under his fingertips, but he had scarcely noticed then. His only concern at the time had been her weak pulse and the ragged, weak breaths escaping her lips. Even as the blood poured from her wound and escaped her lips though, Asta had noticed the smell of her. It had not been the first time they had been in such close quarters, but it was the first time he noticed a smell that was distinctly her, and he had noticed it fading.

He looked back toward the village where the healers were at work on her. He wanted to go to her, to sit vigil until she awoke.

He also wanted to run, to turn away, not from her, but from the guilt, the helplessness, the rage at not being able to protect her. He picked up his grimoire and started walking. He walked until it was nearly sunset. He looked back toward the town, wondering if anyone would miss him if he kept going. He knew he should go back. The growling in his belly reinforced the idea. He knew Charmy would be able to have her freaky sheep chefs conjure up something delicious for him if he asked.

But the longer he looked back, the more helpless he felt.

A merchant's wagon came over the hill, heading the way he had been walking. He waved them down. The driver was all too happy to help a Magic Knight in exchange for some protection from any brigands they might encounter. Asta knew he could do the job, even without his grimoire. The driver fed him and they were on the road once more before the darkness of night was complete. The driver switched out with his back up after they had stopped for dinner. Asta was thankful they were not stopping for the night, as he did not think he could sleep anyway. The night driver was more talkative then the day driver had been, and kept asking question. Asta tried to avoid them, but when he could not, his answers were vague. He did not want to talk about what happened, not with a stranger anyway.

Despite his best efforts to stay awake, Asta found himself drifting off to sleep as the wagon rocked and swayed along the well traveled road. When he awoke, they had come to a crossroads and the driver was taking a break. Asta realized he had not dreamed of anything that he could remember, and he was thankful. He looked at the markers which pointed in various directions. Five roads met at the crossing. If he took the road they had been traveling, if he went back, he would have to face his guilt, his shame. He would have to face her. He looked down the northern path. He knew if he took that path, and with a few other twists and turns, he would be back home. He knew the Father and Sister Lily would always welcome him back if he chose to return. They had said as much-repeatedly and at great length-when he decided to travel with Yuno to submit to be a Magic Knight.

Yuno.

He took a deep breath and looked down another path. The path would lead him to his high and mighty brother and rival should he follow it. He missed Yuno, but he was also tired of the scorn of the other members of his squad. Sure, the Golden Dawn had some of the best knights in the kingdom, but they were all nobility and most of them had trees stuck up their asses. And even though Yuno was a peasant orphan like himself, Asta thought he had blended in perfectly with them, but then Yuno had always been a little stuck up and overly sure of himself. If he were to go see Yuno, he was not sure which Yuno he would meet, his brother or the stuck up Golden Dawn member.

The third path before him would take him to the capital. Nope.

And the fourth path he didn't know where it would lead him. He just knew it would lead him away. The prospect was exciting, but also gut-wrenching. The idea of adventuring into the unknown piqued his interest, but when he considered the path, he felt as if he were betraying himself and his mission. His goal for so long had been to become the Wizard King-a goal he shared with Yuno, that it had become ingrained into his very being. The thought of turning his back on that goal was too difficult to stomach.

"Hey, Asta, You coming?" The driver called to him from atop the wagon. The merchant's caravan had turned toward the capital.

"I think this is where we're going to part ways. Thanks, though, for everything." He shook the man's hand as if they were old friends.

"Well then, I hope you find what it is you're looking for."

"Me, too." Asta smiled, but he still had not quite figured out what it was he was hoping to find. The driver set the caravan in motion, and Asta watched the train of wagons disappear into the distance down the road. Once they were long gone, he reconsidered his options. He looked back the way he had come, but he was overcome with shame and guilt and helplessness. He felt he had much to atone for, but he didn't quite know why. He had hoped he would have sorted out his feelings by now, but he felt just as confused as ever. He looked down the path that would take him home, knowing he would be welcome, that he would never have to explain himself to his family there. But he knew if he went to them now, he would always feel his failure. He took a deep breath and started down the path that would bring him near the headquarters of the Golden Dawn squad of Magic Knights. He needed to figure out what was going on, and he couldn't figure it out on his own. Hopefully, Yuno would be able to help him get sorted.

He walked for hours before found someone, anyone else on the road. He saw several people soaring through the skies on brooms, in conjured vehicles, traveling at speeds he could not hope to gain on foot. He had never wished more in his life to have been gifted with at least enough magic to ease his travels, and to save his poor aching feet. He had no idea how long it would take for him to walk to the home of the most elite Magic Knights, but he had little choice in the matter until he came across a young couple resting with their pack animals beside the road.

His stomach growled from lack of use since the night before, and the couple had a decent sized fire going. The smell of roasting meat filled the air as he approached. The pair eyed him curiously as he walked toward them.

"Excuse me. You don't happen to have enough to share?" Asta asked, feeling every bit the peasant orphan he was despite the black robe wrapping his shoulders. The young woman looked at the young man, who Asta could not tell if he was her husband or brother or something else. The young man sighed and threw his hands up in resignation before she turned to Asta with a smile.

"We always have room at our fire for one of the Magic Knights." She beckoned him over and then pulled out a loaf of bread and a hunk of cheese to supplement their meal.

"Apparently even one of the Black Bulls." The young man turned the spit over the fire muttering. The woman glared at him before turning to their guest.

"Never thought to meet a member of the Black Bulls out here, though. What brings you this way?"

"Nothing much," Asta lied to make conversation. "My brother is a Golden Dawn, so I was hoping to visit him while I was... traveling."

"And you travel by foot?" The man asked as he carved a slice off of the carcass he was roasting. Asta rubbed the back of his head. The woman glared at her companion once more.

"Sometimes." He could feel his voice crack. "I find it a good way to clear my head when I need to." The explanation seemed to satisfy him, as he cut another piece of meat and passed it to Asta and then another to the woman. As he put the food in his mouth, Asta felt like he was going to cry. He did not know if it was really as good as he thought, or if he was too hungry to care. The trio ate and talked for a while, before they continued on their ways-Asta toward the Golden Dawn headquarters, and the couple down the way he had come.

By the time Asta had reached the massive building that housed the top ranked squad, the sun had drifted below the tree tops. He had been running from his worries for over a day, but as he stared at the building in the distance, he felt the feelings he had been running from lapping at his heels. He hoped Yuno was here and not out on some mission, or at least he thought he did. He still was not entirely sure why he had chosen to come here, except that it was the only option available at the time. The others held too much potential for further shame. He made his way to the front gate of the complex and knocked. He was not sure what he expected, but he was fairly certain it was going to annoy him.

A young member of the squad-not Yuno or Mimosa-opened the door smiling. The smile quickly turned to a look of disgust when the young woman saw his black robe. She did not even bother to hide her distaste.

"What?"

"Is Yuno here?"

"That peasant? I have no idea. I don't make a habit of keeping tabs on people who've reached beyond their station."

Asta typically didn't like to fight for no reason and he had made a point of not hitting girls for most of his life, but he had a strong urge to slam his fist into her face. He could barely control the clenching of his fist.

"Can you find out if he's here?" he said through gritted teeth.

She looked at him a moment, as if to challenge him, but eventually she relented with a sigh.

"Fine." She closed the door in his face. Asta wondered if she really was going to try to find Yuno. He waited, looking blankly at the door for a few minutes. Then he began pacing as his worry over Noelle's state began to eat away at him. Memories hit him once more-her body cradled in his arms as he ran from the battlefield, the smell of blood, the panic, the fear. He knelt down, sitting back on his heals, his head in his hands, when the door opened.

"Asta?" A familiar voice brought him out of the memory.

He spun around, catching his feet beneath his crouched body and fell on his rump.

"Ow."

Yuno's familiar chuckle mocked him before the taller young man held his hand out. Asta took it gratefully.

"Thanks." He rubbed his rear once he was on his feet.

"Sure."

Asta looked up at his rival and brother, not entirely sure where to begin. He had no idea how to ask Yuno for anything, except maybe to pass the tatoes.

"What brings you out here, Asta? Come to challenge me? Or some other utterly ridiculous fancy of yours?"

Asta clenched his fists and took a few deep breaths. He knew that he would be faced with Asshole Yuno, even though he had hoped otherwise.

"You know what, never mind. I'll just leave. I should have known that you would have forgotten how to treat family." He shook his head and turned back towards the road. He shouldn't have come, and now he felt broken in a way he had never felt before. Physically, he was fine, but he felt something inside him crack a bit. He wiped his face as he started walking back the way he came.

"Asta, wait." Yuno's voice was soft, like a whisper carried on the wind, which given his penchant for wind magic, was probably exactly what it was. When Asta turned around, his face had softened with his voice. Asta saw his brother and best friend for as long as he could remember, and even longer, as they had known each other for their entire lives. He waited as Yuno walked toward him.

"I'm sorry."

Asta sniffed and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.

"Me too."

Despite their numerous differences and how often they challenged the other, the two boys had always had it drilled into them to watch each other's back. And to never part in anger.

"Why are you here, Asta?"

"I, I don't know. I just needed my brother."

Yuno looked at Asta, who avoided his gaze and shifted his weight between his feet. He knew the shorter boy was hiding something from him, but he didn't know if Asta realized it yet. Yuno pulled him into a rare hug and held him as Asta began to weep. Words began spilling from his mouth between sobs as he explained what had happened.

"And now Noelle is hurt and it's all my fault." Asta said finally as he pulled away from Yuno.

"Hurt, but getting treated, right?"

Asta nodded as he wiped his eyes again.

"Tell me again why you think it's your fault?"

"I couldn't get to her in time."

"But she's a Magic Knight, Asta, same as you, same as me, well, technically. We all need to be able to take care of ourselves, to protect and defend ourselves so we can protect and defend others. So why is this your fault?"

"She didn't get her shield up fast enough."

"Then it's her fault."

"But."

"It's not your fault, Asta. Stop trying to make it your fault."

Yuno sighed, convinced he was not getting through to the stubborn young knight.

"You really did get placed in the right squad, you know. You're as stubborn as a bull, so I'm sure it's a good fit." Yuno rubbed the bridge of his nose. He watched as Asta tried to wrap his mind around the entire situation being an accident, or worse, Noelle's fault. It was clear he was failing.

"But if it's not my fault, why do I feel so bad?" Asta rubbed his arms as if he was cold, despite the warm night air.

"Because you've always thought it was your job to protect everyone, Asta."

"It's what the Wizard King has to do."

"I guess you're right about that." Yuno looked at the dark sky above them. "Come on." He motioned Asta around the building to a lush garden laid out around a central fountain.

"Wow." Asta whistled in appreciation. "This is so much bigger than Sister Lily's garden back home."

Yuno sat on a bench and patted the seat next to him.

"There wasn't much space at the chapel." Yuno reminded him as he sat. "And most of that was used to grow food."

"Yeah." Asta sat mesmerized by the fountain. Some sort of magical lights seemed to bob in the water, making the entire thing glow with an otherworldly light. "She would love this though."

"You're still hung up on her?"

"What?"

"Sister Lily."

"Of course, I made a promise that I would go back for her after I become Wizard King."

"Well, I guess she's going to stay a sister forever."

"Hey!" Asta glared at him, but he saw none of the haughtiness from before, only his brother cracking a joke at his expense like they used to do. Asta's heart warmed as he saw Yuno smile for the first time since they had left to join the Magic Knights.

"But seriously, what if she doesn't want to be taken away from that life? What if she's happy?"

Asta had never thought about her happiness before. He only knew that he wanted to be with her. He had never questioned if the reverse was true.

"Do you think she's happy there?"

"With all the little ones? Yeah, I do."

"Oh." Asta closed his eyes. "Well, I can go live back there then."

"You could do that now, if you wanted."

Asta felt his insides freeze. He knew Yuno was right. He could go back and he would be welcomed with open arms. But he didn't know if he would be able to live with himself. And he sure as hell knew he would not be worth of Sister Lily if he quit. He tried to visualize himself returning, not as a failure but as the conquering hero-the Wizard King, and her reaction to him.

He groaned in frustration as the image of Sister Lily's smiling face morphed into Noelle's scowl.

"What's wrong now?"

"Nothing. It's stupid."

"If you say so."

"Fine. Every time I try to think of Sister Lily, she turns into Noelle." He spat out in a rapid fire speed. Yuno looked at him a moment, trying to interpret what he had said, and then cracked up laughing.

"Sorry." Yuno wiped tears from his eyes. "But how long has this been happening?"

"I don't know. Since she got hurt, I guess?"

"What do you remember about that?"

"I already told you."

"You told me she took a blast, that you couldn't get in the way fast enough, but you didn't tell me what happened after that."

"I, um, I don't really remember. Finral said I attacked the guy who shot her, that I fought like a demon, but all I remember is seeing her fall."

"What about afterward?"

Asta looked up at Yuno, feeling unsettled in the pit of his stomach.

"I, uh, She was in my arms, and I was bringing her to the healers. I don't know how she got there, but I guess I picked her up."

"Anything else?" Yuno pressed him.

"She, uh, she smelled really good." He looked at his hands in his lap. "Underneath the smell of blood, that is."

Yuno shook his head and laughed.

"After your ability to sniff out food back home, it doesn't surprise me that you remember how she smells."

Asta rubbed the back of his head.

"It's not like I was trying to."

"What does she smell like?"

Asta wrinkled his eyebrows together as he thought. He couldn't describe the scent easily, aside from calling it Noelle, but he knew that was not an answer that would satisfy Yuno. He closed his eyes and fought back the panic he felt in his heart as he called forth the memories of holding her.

"You remember the incense Father used in the chapel on special holy days?"

"I don't think I'll ever forget that smell."

"She smells a little like that but different. Like the woody scent from the incense but also like the flowers in Sister Lily's garden, and cinnamon and vanilla."

"And do you remember what Sister Lily smells like?"

Asta looked at Yuno, his eyes narrowed in confusion.

"Not specifically, no. But it's been a while since I've seen her." He admitted. Yuno gave him a sly grin, like he had trapped his prey. It was a look he was used to seeing on Yuno's face from their youths.

"And yet you claim to love her."

"I never said that."

"Then why do you want to take Sister away from a life she loves?"

Asta couldn't answer. He had no way of explaining things without Yuno trapping him further.

"You want to know what I think?"

"Not really."

"Of course you do. Otherwise you wouldn't have come here, Asta."

Asta had forgotten just how insufferable Yuno could be on his own, regardless of his elitist surroundings. He groaned as he waited for the advice that was sure to come.

"I think you're falling for Noelle."

"What? No."

Yuno gave him a look that begged for an argument.

"Or perhaps you've been in love with her for a while, but it's just not getting through your thick skull."

"No, I love Sister Lily."

Yuno rolled his eyes in a way Asta had absolutely expected. What Asta had not expected was for Yuno to grab his chin and force him to look into his eyes.

"You remember when we were younger, how we would used to practice things?" Yuno's voice was a husky, deep whisper that sent chills up Asta's spine.

"Which things specifically? We practiced lots of things, Yuno." Asta felt his mouth go dry. He could barely whisper.

"Things like how to treat girls."

"That was you practicing on me."

"But you remember."

"Yeah." He couldn't break free of Yuno's gaze as he licked his lips and then pressed them lightly against Asta's. The pressure was familiar, comforting in a way, but it did not fill him with desire the way Finral had described kissing.

"You should do that now, with Noelle. And then you should try to convince yourself that you love Sister Lily. I bet that you can't."

"You bet? What's the wager?"

"My own satisfaction for being right, like always."

"And what if you lose?"

"I won't."

"A week's pay if you do?" Asta suggested, making plans on how he would be able to win the bet. "And you have to admit that I will beat you to being Wizard King."

Yuno scoffed at the idea.

"Fine, but I'm going to win. You're already head over heals for Noelle. You just haven't realized it."

Asta grinned at Yuno as they shook on the wager.

"I kind of wish I could be there to see your face when you realize I'm right." Yuno met Asta's grin with a sly smile. "Besides, shouldn't you be getting back there? It's already been, what, a day since she was hurt? Healer's don't take that long."

Asta looked at the sky, already the deep purple of night and cursed. It had been well over a full day since he had stumbled into the city with Noelle's broken body in his arms.

The lightness of her came rushing back to him.

"It'll be another day and a half to get back, and that's by foot and by wagon."

"Too long. I'm sure even the Black Bulls get concerned when one of their team goes missing for three days. I'm assuming you didn't tell anyone where you were going."

"I didn't know where I was going when I left."

"This reminds me of the time we stole the pies from the bakery. You never think things through, Asta."

Asta took the statement as a compliment.

"Come on." Yuno stood and walked through the garden to the main building.

"Where are we going? I don't think they want me in there."

"Of course not. They don't want me in there." Yuno muttered, but Asta could barely make out his words. "I'm going to tell Klaus where I'm going and then fly you back."

"Klaus? You mean the glasses guy?"

Yuno sighed at Asta's thickheaded observations.

"Yes, him."

Once Klaus saw Asta, he immediately offered to help with transportation. And when Mimosa overheard that Noelle had been injured, she insisted in tagging along. Yuno sighed in resignation as Asta went moon-eyed over Klaus' magically conjured vehicle. The vehicle allowed them to travel much more quickly than Asta could by foot or even by wagon. They soared through the air with the speed of birds and were back at the site of the battle by dawn.

The land was scared from magic. Trees were toppled and large divets of earth were overturned. The ground with singed with fire magic and drowned with water. Seeing the site from above made Asta's stomach turn to stone. He was glad they had been able to draw the fighting away from the town, but he knew there were casualties, more than just Noelle.

He closed his eyes to the sight, only to face the final moments before he lost memories once more. He could hear himself telling their attacker that he would protect everyone. He could hear the chuckle rumble through his soul as the aggressor targeted Noelle. It all happened in a flash, yet in his mind, Asta felt as if he were moving through molasses as the bolt of energy flew past him and into Noelle.

A hand on his shoulder startled him. Asta looked over to see Mimosa looking at him.

"It was quite a battle, wasn't it?"

Asta nodded.

"I don't remember much of it. Only that I couldn't stop it."

"I'm sure Noelle is going to be fine." Mimosa turned to look at the battle field once more. She sighed and Asta could feel the sadness in it.

"The healers said she would. She just needed rest."

"So why did you leave her?"

Asta's eyes widened.

"I, I don't know." He couldn't admit to her that nearly losing Noelle had broken his core. She smiled softly, as if she knew he was hiding something he was not ready to discuss just yet.

"We're almost there." Klaus called as the vehicle began to descend. Once they disembarked, the quartet-three in gold, one in black-converged upon the house where Noelle had been brought for treatment. The healers were still mulling around, going from patient to patient, but Noelle's room was quiet. Asta felt a surge of panic at the lack of hustle and bustle around Noelle's room. His mind automatically devised the worst possible scenario-that she had died sometime after he had left, that she had succumbed to her injuries despite the healing and he had not been able to tell her.

Tell her what exactly? He still didn't quite know.

Klaus hailed one of the healers and asked after her whereabouts. The healing mage assured them that she was fine, just resting in the room. Mimosa hurried through the door to check on her cousin, but Asta was rooted to the spot just outside the frame.

"What's wrong?" Yuno asked, seeing his reluctance.

"I can't do it.

"Just go in there, Asta."

"What if she hates me? What if she blames me?" The feelings of guilt consumed him once more, as they had been doing periodically since he ran from her bedside.

"She will hate you if you don't go in there." Yuno gave his back a little push, just enough to force him over the threshold.

When Asta entered the room, Mimosa was already sitting beside Noelle's bed, holding the hand of the unconscious princess. He watched her laying there, waiting to see her chest rise and fall with slow steady breaths. He sighed in relief when he knew she was alive.

"The healers were right. She'll be fine with some rest." Mimosa said from her side. Only after she spoke did Asta notice the green tendrils of light wrapping up Noelle's arms. He stood back, watching the red headed girl fuss over her sleeping cousin. Someone had loosened the severe hairstyle Noelle typically wore, and her silver locks flowed around her face. Asta found it difficult to breathe as he looked at her. She reminded him of a story Sister Lily had told them when they were children about a princess who was cursed to sleep forever. He crossed his arms over his belly, feeling a slurry of uncertainty in his gut. There was a chair on the other side of the bed, opposite Mimosa. Her robe, tattered and singed lay draped over the back. He walked over to the piece of cloth and picked it up. He rubbed his fingers gently over the rips and tears it had received in the last battle. Mimosa had started humming something; the sound of it soothed his mind somewhat. He looked back to her, his gaze passing one princess to the next. He wanted to say something, but he couldn't figure out what. Everything was still too jumbled inside.

"Asta?" A voice called from the doorway. He looked over, away from his princess to see Charmy standing in the doorway. "Where have you been? We've been worried sick about you!" The young woman/toddler scurried over to him and looked him over. Behind her was another of their teammates, looking very put out be being awake and sober.

"You look famished." She turned to summon her sheep chefs and froze when she saw the rest of the occupants of the small room. "Oh. It's you." Asta didn't even bother to see who she was talking to as his attention returned to the figure on the bed. Vanessa walked over to him and held her hand out for the robe he was cradling.

"I meant to fix this earlier." She spun a spell and within moments the robe was whole once more. "I wish I could fix Noelle as easily." She also looked at the sleeping princess.

"How long has she been like this?" His voice was dry and cracked as he spoke. The older woman looked at him, appraising him and the situation.

"About as long as you've been missing. She's had moments where she's woken up, where she is lucid, but then the goes back to sleep and will sleep for hours. What happened, Asta? Why did you leave?"

He shrugged, not wanting to explain again.

"I don't know."

"We all thought you had gone out to vent some anger by whacking a few trees around or something. But when you didn't come back, we went looking for you, well most of us anyway."

"I just needed to clear my head, that's all."

"For nearly two days? And then you show up with some Golden Dawns?"

"Yuno's my brother, well, sort of. We were raised together. He's an orphan too."

Vanessa took a deep breath and released it with a sigh.

"I don't want to get into this right now. I am woefully under-inebriated to handle any sort of family issues."

Asta caught himself smiling.

"How the hell is a girl supposed to get some sleep in here with all of your yammering."

Asta's attention immediately returned to the bed and it's occupant. Noelle's eyes were still closed, but they were squeezed shut now, rather than peaceful repose she had earlier. He felt his heart racing and was flooded with relief at her return to consciousness.

"Noelle." Her name erupted from his lips before he could even think. Her eyes opened and he was met by the deep lavender gaze that usually made him feel like he was never good enough, but today he was just grateful to see her.

"Where have you been, Stupidasta?" Her voice was harsh as normal, as he was used to. Asta laughed to cover the sob that threatened to erupt from his mouth. He couldn't stop the tears, however, and he wiped them from his cheeks as they fell.

"I'm, I'm so sorry, Noelle."

"You better be, running off like you did." She pulled herself up to a sitting position. "I hear I have you to thank." Her voice was soft, gentle, uncharacteristic. Her cheeks were flushed pink and she picked at the pilled fibers of the rough-spun blanket covering her lap. He took a seat in the empty chair and shook his head.

"Did you really carry me all the way here?" She whispered. She looked at her fingers as they pulled at the fraying fabric or she glanced at Mimosa or the other occupants in the room. Anywhere to avoid looking at him.

"I think so. I don't really remember." He watched her like a hawk as her eyes traveled everywhere but to him. He knew she was trying to avoid him, but all he wanted was for her to look at him. He wished with all of his heart that she would turn her head his way, and it was then that he knew Yuno was right. Somehow, some time, he had fallen for her. He still had feelings for Sister Lily, but they were the fantasies of a child who needed a mother's love.

"They told me you flipped out after I was hit, that you finished the guy off yourself."

"I... don't remember." He shook his head

"Anyway, thank you." She still hadn't looked at him since that first glare since she had opened her eyes.

"Noelle." He couldn't stand it anymore. He placed his hand on hers to still the nervous movements in her fingers. She looked up at him, surprised by the touch. Her straight, silver hair hung in sheets alongside her face and her eyes widened. He chewed on his lip as he looked over her face, memorizing her features. He took a deep breath, wondering if she was going to slap him. He figured she would, but he leaned toward her and pressed his lips against hers anyway. The pressure was light, like the brush of wind against the skin and he ended it quickly, not wanting to anger her. He hovered, his eyes closed, waiting for the sting of her hand against his skin. He hadn't expected the pressure of her lips against his. His eyes flew opened at the unexpectedness of it before he settled into the warm feeling that spread through his being. He cupped her cheek and slipped his fingers through her silky hair. He was overwhelmed by the scent of her, the feel of her lips on his, and the give and take as they kissed.

He loved her. He knew that now. Not in the way he loved Sister Lily, no, but in the way he loved her. He wanted her too. He wanted to hold her in his arms, to always have her back. He wanted her to never stop kissing him like this.

He wondered if she wanted the same.

An intrusive presence hovered over them as a voice whispered in his ear.

"Told you so." Yuno said, humor filling his normally stoic voice. Asta shoved him back as hard as he could. He wanted no intruders in this moment.

But eventually the moment would end, and it did when Noelle pulled away from him. When he opened his eyes, she was blushing heavily and chewing on her lip. But the look she gave him was not one of embarrassment or anger. In her eyes, he could see she wanted everything he did. He moved from the chair to the edge of the bed next to her and hugged her. Her body still felt delicate in his arms, so he was careful to not squeeze too hard, but he no longer feared breaking her. She laid her head against his shoulder and Asta knew he never wanted to let her go.

He had no idea how long they sat like that, holding each other, but when he finally looked around, the small room was empty.

"If I knew it would take me getting hurt for you to make a move, I would have done it a long time ago."

"Don't even joke like that, Noelle." He took her hand and kissed the back of it.

He loved her, and he hated that Yuno was right.

"I'm sorry." He said after he looked at the door, assuming everyone was waiting outside.

"For what?"

"I couldn't protect you."

"That's not your job."

"Everyone keeps saying that."

"Because it's true."

"But."

"Asta, it's my job to protect you."

He looked at her wide-eyed as she continued.

"We both now that I'm at my best with my magic when I'm using it defensively. You're a fighter, and always attacking. That's what you're good at. So it's my job to be your shield. At least that's what I've figured out."

"I never thought of it that way."

"Because you think you need to protect everyone." She placed her hand against his cheek and kissed him lightly. "Now, you should go. I still need to rest."


End file.
